Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Looking up

This is a quickie post, for I promised a friend I will blog when we would hangout next.

I've been very inspired, and not thought of what I should do. This means a lot. I've been inspired by almost everyone I've maintained a decent enough relationship with. Its good, but also bad. I can tell you why it doesn't work for me.
A. I put the person up on a pedestal and do not give that person any room for mistakes. But why? Its human to make mistakes. We learn and grow only when we make mistakes, so why can't the people whom I've put up on a pedestal make mistakes. When they do, I label them as bad (not always, but a lot of times). Its unfair to them.
B. The amount of time and thought I put in to being inspired can be better used to charting out my own path. If I think about it with enough clarity and trust myself, I wouldn't be so confused and wouldn't have to keep looking up... to someone for inspiration or for help.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Press esc

The easiest thing to do in a tricky situation (at least I thought it was easy) is to (try to) run away form the situation. But what one fails to realize is that there's no use of trying that. Escaping from what to what? Even if one changes one's physical location, the mental thoughts can stay stuck on the same thoughts associated with the previous location. However, at times, going to the beach does help :) Anyways, running from where to where? There's always some origin and some destination. But how does one know the final destination, that will make one truly happy? Wouldn't that be like predicting the future? I do not say that hoping for a certain future is wrong, but how does one know that that hope will actually give one happiness? It all depends on acceptance of one's situation and 'hanging in there' as the American phrase goes. Its probably the hardest thing to do, and its what everyone says makes one happy. There are of course other sources of happiness, like watching a movie or spending time with friends. But you see that all of these give momentary happiness. Permanent happiness... is something to be thrived for. And one of the first steps in that direction is to accept one's situation and deal with it, not run away. This acceptance is very hard. Very hard in deed. As my teenage years come to an end, this realization also dawns on me that I cannot run away from things I am scared off. Being an adult means being responsible.

If I consider myself to be in a black hole (which I am sure of :) ), then things like escape don't make sense. The escape velocity inside a black hole exceeds the speed of light. So I will have to accept whatever comes in to the black hole. Remember, this is if I somehow manage to get into the black hole without being torn apart myself. So if the escape velocity exceeds the physical limit of any speed, then escape is not possible. With life, as much as one wants to escape a situation, a lot of the times its not possible for one to escape. This is more so with much of the serious things in life, which are generally the ones one feels like escaping the most, such as death or disease. The biggest truth of life is that death will happen. So one has to accept it and there is no escape from that. Sometimes I feel like the journey to a goal is much more important than the destination itself. But the destination needs to be set, and the path needs to be more or less clear (in terms of current position, and direction in which one should move, much like a compass) for the journey to be made. So in the end, one realizes that life is a journey. People come and go. Some you grow up with, some become friends, some become companions, some you learn to love. However, the journey ends with the same fate for all, for the king or the beggar alike, and one cannot take anything to the next stage (not so according to the Egyptians). So the importance of acceptance comes in here. If one does not accept one's current situation and tries to move on, there will once come a day when there will be no moving on. Life has to be lived before it ends. ( Haha, I really should listen to my own advice). However, I feel that one should not, in lieu of enjoyment, forget to be cautious, because for that moment of enjoyment, one maybe sacrificing a lifetime of peace of mind.

Alright, enough of preaching. But remember, in life, one can't Press esc

Monday, February 1, 2010

Formulas of Friendship

This is a way offbeat post which some people might not like, but oh well, here's to life, and friendship (in deed) - Cheers!
I was talking to a friend about the difficulties I face as an individual in social interactions. I feel that one of the strongest and most important relationships one has in life is friendship. I was asking him to give me the formulas of friendship. What should one add to make one feel happy? What to subtract to tease one? How to multiply the mutual love and respect and how to exponentiate the fun one has with one's friends. He gave me three universal 'things-to-do' one can adopt, but told me that there are no formulas of friendship-
1. Smile, it makes others like you ... (and maybe, you start liking others when they reciprocate your smile). It also makes you appear much more approachable than if you were to have a serious face. TRUE THAT
2. Remember people's names. According to my friend (I agree with him), the single word in the dictionary that everyone in this world finds the sweetest, and would love to hear is their name.
3. Its not (always) about you. Well, I mean, really, come on. How true is that? I think one of the most underlined points about friendships (or maybe any relationship for that matter) is that one seeks to learn from the other person's experience. The reason that the friendship exists is that there is a discussion involved, and there is a back and forth of thoughts and ideas (and really, there's nothing like a one-sided discussion). So Its not always about you. And according to my previous post on learning, if learning has to happen, one has to listen. So more often than not, its not about you, or maybe it is about you, you're the one who is learning.