Accept the negative

Maybe the reason why I've never felt a part of this place is because I've never accepted the negative. To each person, there are positives and negatives. And I am not ready or haven't ever accepted the negatives.

Thats why I don't have friends. Really. I'm not ready to open my arms and accept them for whomsoever they are, cause they really are, amazing. Every person is. But no, I have to judge them, pass them through a filter, which is faulty itself. And thats why perhaps, no one has passed yet. Some came close to the end of the other side, but just close, never entered it, cause the filter is so strict. How can I expect something white, when I acknowledge I'm very grey, a dark shade of grey. How is that reasonable at all? And yet, I find faults in every single relationship I have, be it with my parents, my sister, my most long lasting friends or with an acquaintance I just met. How can I do this to them, when I myself am so imperfect, that I tend to hate myself every so often?

It doesn't make sense. But unlike with other things that I deal with in life, I hope I'm able to resolve this problem, and not just live with it.

I know I was born alone, and my death too shall not (most probably) be with someone, I would like to walk a few steps on the wet sand with someone(s). Even if the foot prints don't last on the sand, those images shall be captured in my mind at least.

Maybe this is my problem, I know its not everlasting, yet I look for it.

I need to find something immortal (pardon my use of such strong words, due to lack of a better vocabulary), and to try and attach to it.

Relationships

People come and go. Yes, just like anything else, no relationship is constant: it either grows deeper, fades away, or just breaks off. This fact is very disheartening, at least for me. One of the most important things for me is to have a stable relationship with either family or friend. But alas, things don't always work out the way we want them to in life. And that, and that is the reason that humans strive for anything at all. If something is denied to us, we want it, and we strive for it. I wish I could figure out the equilibrium state for a relationship, if not just for it to grow deep. I wish, I wish, I wish.

More to come.

Looking up

This is a quickie post, for I promised a friend I will blog when we would hangout next.

I've been very inspired, and not thought of what I should do. This means a lot. I've been inspired by almost everyone I've maintained a decent enough relationship with. Its good, but also bad. I can tell you why it doesn't work for me.
A. I put the person up on a pedestal and do not give that person any room for mistakes. But why? Its human to make mistakes. We learn and grow only when we make mistakes, so why can't the people whom I've put up on a pedestal make mistakes. When they do, I label them as bad (not always, but a lot of times). Its unfair to them.
B. The amount of time and thought I put in to being inspired can be better used to charting out my own path. If I think about it with enough clarity and trust myself, I wouldn't be so confused and wouldn't have to keep looking up... to someone for inspiration or for help.

Press esc

The easiest thing to do in a tricky situation (at least I thought it was easy) is to (try to) run away form the situation. But what one fails to realize is that there's no use of trying that. Escaping from what to what? Even if one changes one's physical location, the mental thoughts can stay stuck on the same thoughts associated with the previous location. However, at times, going to the beach does help :) Anyways, running from where to where? There's always some origin and some destination. But how does one know the final destination, that will make one truly happy? Wouldn't that be like predicting the future? I do not say that hoping for a certain future is wrong, but how does one know that that hope will actually give one happiness? It all depends on acceptance of one's situation and 'hanging in there' as the American phrase goes. Its probably the hardest thing to do, and its what everyone says makes one happy. There are of course other sources of happiness, like watching a movie or spending time with friends. But you see that all of these give momentary happiness. Permanent happiness... is something to be thrived for. And one of the first steps in that direction is to accept one's situation and deal with it, not run away. This acceptance is very hard. Very hard in deed. As my teenage years come to an end, this realization also dawns on me that I cannot run away from things I am scared off. Being an adult means being responsible.

If I consider myself to be in a black hole (which I am sure of :) ), then things like escape don't make sense. The escape velocity inside a black hole exceeds the speed of light. So I will have to accept whatever comes in to the black hole. Remember, this is if I somehow manage to get into the black hole without being torn apart myself. So if the escape velocity exceeds the physical limit of any speed, then escape is not possible. With life, as much as one wants to escape a situation, a lot of the times its not possible for one to escape. This is more so with much of the serious things in life, which are generally the ones one feels like escaping the most, such as death or disease. The biggest truth of life is that death will happen. So one has to accept it and there is no escape from that. Sometimes I feel like the journey to a goal is much more important than the destination itself. But the destination needs to be set, and the path needs to be more or less clear (in terms of current position, and direction in which one should move, much like a compass) for the journey to be made. So in the end, one realizes that life is a journey. People come and go. Some you grow up with, some become friends, some become companions, some you learn to love. However, the journey ends with the same fate for all, for the king or the beggar alike, and one cannot take anything to the next stage (not so according to the Egyptians). So the importance of acceptance comes in here. If one does not accept one's current situation and tries to move on, there will once come a day when there will be no moving on. Life has to be lived before it ends. ( Haha, I really should listen to my own advice). However, I feel that one should not, in lieu of enjoyment, forget to be cautious, because for that moment of enjoyment, one maybe sacrificing a lifetime of peace of mind.

Alright, enough of preaching. But remember, in life, one can't Press esc

Formulas of Friendship

This is a way offbeat post which some people might not like, but oh well, here's to life, and friendship (in deed) - Cheers!

I was talking to a friend about the difficulties I face as an individual in social interactions. I feel that one of the strongest and most important relationships one has in life is friendship. I was asking him to give me the formulas of friendship. What should one add to make one feel happy? What to subtract to tease one? How to multiply the mutual love and respect and how to exponentiate the fun one has with one's friends. He gave me three universal 'things-to-do' one can adopt, but told me that there are no formulas of friendship-

1. Smile, it makes others like you ... (and maybe, you start liking others when they reciprocate your smile). It also makes you appear much more approachable than if you were to have a serious face. TRUE THAT

2. Remember people's names. According to my friend (I agree with him), the single word in the dictionary that everyone in this world finds the sweetest, and would love to hear is their name.

3. Its not (always) about you. Well, I mean, really, come on. How true is that? I think one of the most underlined points about friendships (or maybe any relationship for that matter) is that one seeks to learn from the other person's experience. The reason that the friendship exists is that there is a discussion involved, and there is a back and forth of thoughts and ideas (and really, there's nothing like a one-sided discussion). So Its not always about you. And according to my previous post on learning, if learning has to happen, one has to listen. So more often than not, its not about you, or maybe it is about you, you're the one who is learning.

umm.. TRUE ALL OF THAT!

Growth

An unpublished post...


Growth of a person is not just increase in his size, but the increase in the mental ability of that person to make decisions and choose between different options available (or unavailable)

As one grows, the complexity of situation one faces increases, so does the complexity of the mind. The easiest thing to do in a tricky situation (at least I thought it was easy) is to (try to) run away form the situation. But what one fails to realize is that there's no use of trying that. Escaping from what to what? Even if one changes one's physical location, the mental thoughts can stay stuck on the same thoughts associated with the previous location. However, at times, going to the beach does help :) Anyways, running from where to where? There's always some origin and some destination. But how does one know the final destination, that will make one truly happy? Wouldn't that be like predicting the future? I do not say that hoping for a certain future is wrong, but how does one know that that hope will actually give one happiness? It all depends on acceptance of one's situation and 'hanging in there' as the American phrase goes. Its probably the hardest thing to do, and its what everyone says makes one happy. There are of course other sources of happiness, like watching a movie or spending time with friends. But you see that all of these give momentary happiness. Permanent happiness... is something to be thrived for. And one of the first steps in that direction is to accept one's situation and deal with it, not run away. This acceptance is very hard. Very hard in deed. As my teenage years come to an end, this realization also dawns on me that I cannot run away from things I am scared off. Being an adult means being responsible.

If I consider myself to be in a black hole (which I am sure of :) ), then things like escape don't make sense. The escape velocity inside a black hole exceeds the speed of light. So I will have to accept whatever comes in to the black hole. Remember, this is if I somehow manage to get into the black hole without being torn apart myself. So if the escape velocity exceeds the physical limit of any speed, then escape is not possible. With life, as much as one wants to escape a situation, a lot of the times its not possible for one to escape. This is more so with much of the serious things in life, which are generally the ones one feels like escaping the most, such as death or disease. The biggest truth of life is that death will happen. So one has to accept it and there is no escape from that. Sometimes I feel like the journey to a goal is much more important than the destination itself. But the destination needs to be set, and the path needs to be more or less clear (in terms of current position, and direction in which one should move, much like a compass) for the journey to be made. So in the end, one realizes that life is a journey. People come and go. Some you grow up with, some become friends, some become companions, some you learn to love. However, the journey ends

Learning in a Black Hole

So most of you (the readers) must have guessed by now that by black hole, I mostly refer to my college(life) in the U.S. It is an interesting journey, college life I mean. Its supposed to shape one's adulthood. School life has already done the basic of building up one's values and morals but college life adds to that, the mental ability to think and decide what is good or bad, or moreover, what should one be doing?

My journey so far in this black hole has been very transforming. I have come a long way from what I was. Let me first describe the past at present, the future can always wait :P
Ritika was a shy girl who was very much protected from the harsh realities of life and always saw the richness of goodness and beauty of life and other things around her. Well, almost always. Whenever she used to see something dark, she would run back home and come back to the beauty of life. This made her think/believe that the world was a wonderful place to live in. Well, I am not denying that it isn't but just the fact that there are some bad things in this world make the good things more appreciated. So I am grateful for that... (kinda shady huh? ;) )
Anyways, last year this girl entered the black hole. And can you see? The black hole accepts anything and everything into itself... I'm not sure about the physics of it, but I don't think it rejects much stuff if its coming straight at it(th black hole). So, the black hole has a specimen of the good and the bad. Well, this little girl Ritika wasn't aware of that... So it took her a long time to accept that fact, and in the process she started understanding that everyone around her was very different from what she had come across, and people in general are different from each other. And that itself is the fascinatingpart of life. If the colors weren't different, how would our eyes enjoy the beautiful sunset, or a peacocks feathers?

Anyways, Ritika is still in the process of accepting this fact (if she would have already undertood it, I don't think she would have been writing this blog).

Okay, it feel weird writing about myself as a third person, so I am going to switch back.
So anyways, I can now listen to my friends swear and not feel like leaving the dinner table, or be rude about, or even for that matter request them not to do so ( I still do that at times).
And today, I just realised what was bothering me foe such a long time, almost 3 months, was another truth of life which I just need to accept: everyone has a different pace of learn. Now I still have to discover the significance of this fact, but hmm.. wouldn't everyone be Einstein or a Nobel Laureate then? And then, we wouldn't appreciate them because, everyone would be the same, so why appreciate the norm? Hmm.. things have started to make sense now... at least a bit. So everyone has a different pace of learning and different way of learning... hmm... so, we can appreciate the difference that exists and thats what makes life so beautiful, eh?
It really does, when I learn something about something that I don't care about from a person who is really passionate about it, I get infected with that passionate and feel good about learning about that thing even though earlier, I didn't care about it.
Hmm... maybe this post asks for more, and maybe you the reader, if you are there, can add a bit more and help me learn.